Culinary Adventures, Eats, Recipes
Comments 9

Apocalypse Spaghetti is for Sluts

Apocalypse spaghetti is for sluts

The Koala’s fascination with conspiracies and the end of the world coupled with my love of survival tips and post apocalypse fashion mean that post apocalyptic movies and TV programmes are held in high regard around here.

I don’t truly believe that shit is going to hit the fan in our lifetime. But I guess the old adage, “Prepare for the worst, hope for the best” works in this situation.

Before shopping day, or before OOOOBY box Tuesday, when I’m scraping together what little fresh food we have to make a meal or even using pantry only or freezer only ingredients, I always think to myself, “I hope society doesn’t crumble tomorrow, I’m not prepared today”. I hope that when it all comes crashing down, we will have a full fridge and pantry. Being city dwellers, there will be little fresh food at the end of days and while looting will be a popular past time, so will eating food from cans.

Being able to conjure a few meals from pantry only ingredients is a good skill to have in your bag of tricks. Even if the end of the world isn’t at hand, it’s nice to be able to pull together a decent meal on those bleak days leading up to shopping day. Also handy for camping, boat trips and long expeditions.

Spaghetti alla puttanesca has always appealed to me due to it’s colourful story, punchy flavours and pantry ingredients. The literal translation is Whore’s Spaghetti. I suppose  the hungry whores of Italy’s olden days had little time to frolic to the market to buy fresh produce. Instead, they made do with preserved and dried pantry staples.

These bold flavours ought to stir up something in you. Should you and I see each other in the coming end of days, remind me to cook this for you comrade. We’ll eat this pasta and drink red wine and fight whatever comes our way.

Apocalypse Spaghetti is for Sluts

This quick and easy recipe is adapted for two and has no fresh ingredients. Bonus of no chopping means less fiddling around. While it does make use of water (which may be precious in the future), you are more than welcome to save the water for cooking other items.


2 tablespoons olive oil
A pinch of dried chili flakes

5 anchovy fillets
1 can of chopped tomatoes (400 grams/14 ounces)
Half a bag of dried pasta (250 grams/half a pound)
A large handful of black olives (pitted)
1 tablespoon capers
Salt and black pepper


  1. Heat  olive oil in a frying pan and add chili flakes and anchovy fillets, breaking up the anchovies with a wooden spoon.
  2. Once anchovy fillets disintegrate, add chopped tomatoes. Cook for 10 minutes stirring occasionally.
  3. In the meantime, cook dried pasta in furiously boiling, salted water for about 9 minutes until al dente.
  4. Drain pasta and divide into bowls.
  5. Add olives and capers to the sauce, stir through and add to pasta bowls. Season with pepper as you wish. No salt required.
  6. Best enjoyed with wine and gutsy company under a brilliant red sky.


  1. Haha, you sure know how to make your posts eye-catching!! That would definitely be a good recipe for a survival situation, though I would then probably be tempted to reuse the pasta water for soup or something, assuming I had clean water to begin with. What I wonder about all those people who hoard years of food supplies is: does this mean they always eat from cans, to ensure that the food in the cupboard is still good when the time comes? Or do they just keep chucking stuff out and replacing their supplies? Or are they just prepared to eat 40-year-old tinned tomatoes?

    • I wonder that too. If I had such a store room, I think I would restock once every 5 years on rotation. I guess every time you buy a can, it goes into the back and you cook with what is in the front of the shelves.

  2. I read your post and had a little chuckle because JT has always commented that I can always make something out of nothing (when the fridge is bare and the only items you have are in the freezer or pantry). I’ve made kitchen sink risotto, crêpes, soups etc. I’m always happiest when the pantry is filled with all of the necessities like almond flour, chocolate chips (milk and dark), almond slices, sesame seeds, dried mushrooms, barley, beans (all kinds), couscous (we’re still working on the package we bought last year in Morocco), and the freezer has prosciutto, ham, shrimp, scallops, chicken breasts, salmon and tilapia. I almost get a bit panicky if I am out of something. I usually have a variety of frozen hors d’œuvres as well (home made, of course).
    But then again, I don’t often have bottled water so we’d be screwed anyway.
    Love the recipe, Genie. Do you pay attention to the sodium content of canned stewed tomatoes? You should, it’s really abysmal to be honest but we have found the Italian varieties are usually the best with as little sodium as possible.

    • Hi Eva! Your “kitchen sink” dinners are what we call “make do” dinners. I will check out what sodium levels my canned tomatoes have. I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest. I don’t add much salt to my cooking compared to what I gauge is “normal”. A tiny amount always looks like a lot to me and The Koala doesn’t like salted food. It always makes me cringe watching cooking shows on TV and how much salt they use.

      • I know, Genie, it’s crazy how much salt goes into the TV food shows. I even notice it when we go out, my rings have a hard time coming off the next day.
        The salt content is as important as the fat content.

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