At our Bastille Day Cheese and Wine Tasting, there were ten cheese enthusiasts and six cheeses. Coincidentally, there were three French cheeses in honour of Bastille Day and three New Zealand cheese. I did a cheese and wine tasting back in 2011 which was a lot of fun. I can’t believe it’s been 2 years already. It’s a delicious, fun and good value entertainment.
I asked each guest to bring either cheese or a red wine that they hadn’t tried before, with a price limit of $20.
Political discussions and strong opinions on gardening
Being the slightly crazy foodie that I am, everyone was encouraged to take notes on the wines based on some key points. Strong opinions and poetic license were held in high regard.
Our rating system from 0 to 10:
- 0 = yuck
- 5 = yeah-nah
- 10 = yum
The scores have been averaged out and presented at the end of each set of notes below. Check back tomorrow for some entertaining reading on the wines we consumed.
IMPORTANT: These tasting notes for entertainment only reflect the opinions of non-professional, inebriated cheese munchers. Please take with a grain of salt and glass of wine. Only a fool would form firm opinions on a cheese based on this post.
Brie Royal Aux Truffles
France
Looks like
- volcanic molten lava oozing through the earth’s crust
- almost a liquid
Smells like
- truffles
- leaf mulch
Tastes like
- dirty mushrooms
- earthy
- creamy goo
Goes well with
- the good times, the bad times the inbetween times
- red wine and crackers
- the rest of your life
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 8.25 out of 10 yum
Puhoi Valley Distinction Blue
New Zealand
Looks like
- dick cheese
- butter dropped on the floor and rolled in fluff
Smells like
- a wet forest
- a cupboard that’s been shut for a looooong time
Tastes like
- Popeye’s pubes
- creamy with a citrus aftertaste
- not too strong, not too weak, yum
Goes well with
- bro fists
- bolshy drunks
- high fives
- grapes
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 8 out of 10 yum
Puhoi Valley Double Cream Camembert
New Zealand
Looks like
- an average white DJ
Smells like
- nothing much
Tastes like
- a typical soft cheese
- milky
Goes well with
- soft punches to the head
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 8 out of 10 yum
Puhoi Valley Peppered Havarti
New Zealand
Looks like
- an old eraser
Smells like
- milk
- not much
Tastes like
- sweetness with a kick of pepper
- lemony
- tasty as fuck
- peppery and a little tart
Goes well with
- wine
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 8 out of 10 yum
Fromager Des Clarines
France
Looks like
- a pie
- pastry
- filo
Smells like
- like milk straight from the cow
- feral
- horrible
- sawdust
- flour and water
Tastes like
- a pair of socks that a goat has been wearing for 28 days
- sweet cream
- fermented beans
- cleaning stuff
- oozy champagne
Goes well with
- political discussions
- strong opinions on gardening
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 5.3 out of 10 yeah-nah
Pont l’Evêque Marie Harel Saisof
France
Looks like
- an old pavlova
- pasta
- mouldy with an orange tinge
Smells like
- racism
- rancid bin juice
- toilet spray
- damp clothes
- old moist laundry
- gumboots
- sewer
Tastes like
- bitter heartache
- sticking plasters
- mushrooms
- an old sock with a creamy consistency
Goes well with
- sad mix tapes
- the bin
- fisting
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 1 out of 10 yuck
Other posts you might like:
Bastille Day Wine Tasting
Cheese Tasting 2011
Wine Tasting 2011
Bunny Eats Design 
Great descriptions!
That guy in the first photo looks like a Seth Rogan stunt double.
Ha. He would be a great stunt man actually!
OMG! I almost skipped this post but I have to say the colourful comments had me snorting. This was funny! I think I’ll have to have just such a wine and cheese partay!
Hi Colleen, thanks for dropping by. It’s fun to have a commoner’s take on fancy occasions. I’m sure as a talented writer you could come up with some colourful comments too. Maybe you could even write a short blurb on each cheese afterwards incorporating the colourful comments.
This is awesome. I laughed so hard!! I love a big stinky cheese so I don’t reckon Pont l’eveque goes well with fisting, but then, I’m not a true fan of fisting.
You idiot.
Maybe you just didn’t have the right cheese?
What a great idea. I’d LOVE to do this if I ever had any similarly crazy foody friends 😉
I’m more than a little disturbed by the Puhoi Valley Distinction Blue … I’m amazed anyone tried it after those appearance descriptions!
Hi Trixpin! I think we often just eat without thinking too hard about how food looks or smells. It’s true that some of the descriptions are less than ideal. But I think everyone tasted every cheese and every wine. It’s good to have a smallish selection so everything can be tested. If you do have a tasting, please blog about it!
I agree – there’s nothing like having to analyse food to make you really savour it. And I’m sure the alcohol helps too …
Yay, fun post!
Ah this is such a brilliant idea, now I need to find other cheese enthusiasts…
What a brilliant idea! I’ve never had Puhoi cheese before, and it sounds like I’ve been missing out! 🙂
I’m in hysterics. Great descriptions!
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