Our Bastille Day Cheese and Wine Tasting was a barrel of laughs.
Tasting different wines side by side was awesome. You taste a little of each and then go back for more until it’s all gone. The wines changed as we drank them and some that I didn’t like at the start were delicious at the end. I suspect a combination of booze and air affected the taste.
At our wine tasting, there were ten wine tasters and six bottles of red wine. There were three French wines in honour of Bastille Day, two Australian wines and one New Zealand wine. A good mix.
I asked each guest to bring either cheese or a red wine that they hadn’t tried before, with a price limit of $20.
Loose lips and dutch rudders
Being the slightly crazy foodie that I am, everyone was encouraged to take notes on the wines based on some key points. Strong opinions and poetic license were held in high regard.
Our rating system from 0 to 10:
- 0 = yuck
- 5 = yeah-nah
- 10 = yum
The scores have been averaged out and presented at the end of each set of notes.
IMPORTANT: These tasting notes for entertainment only reflect the opinions of non-professional, inebriated wine drinkers. There was no spitting though there may have been some gargling, shit talking, wafting and sniffing. Please take with a grain of salt and glass of wine. Only a fool would form firm opinions on a wine based on this post.
Le Chat Noir Pinot Noir
2011, France
Looks like
- a fucking cat
- red stuff
- cute label
Smells like
- meth berries
- feet
- yummy berryicious lipgloss
Tastes like
- summer fields
- alcoholic strawberries
- berries, kittens and butterflies
- TVNZ bonuses (sux ballz)
Goes well with
- blowjobs and campervans
- Camembert
- BBQ
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 5.3 out of 10 yeah-nah (scores ranged from 2 to 10)
Baron d’Arignac Pays D’oc
Red country wine, 2011, France
Looks like
- pompous French bullshit
- Monsieur fancy pants
Smells like
- revolution
Tastes like
- bitter yet sweet – a culinary quandry
- serious
- a little savoury
- better with every sip
Goes well with
- a beef stew
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 8 out of 10 yum
Jackman Ridge Cabernet Merlot
Australia
Looks like
- the blood of Christ
Smells like
- WAZ
Tastes like
- Fruity tooti
Goes well with
- loose lips
- Jesus
- dutch rudders
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 7 out of 10 yum
Jacob’s Creek Cabernet Sauvignon
2010, Australia
Looks like
- your mum’s red wine
- dark like goth lipstick
Smells like
- purple
- a kiddie porn moustache
Tastes like
- awesome hairy balls
- Sweet as bro
- dry as a dishtowel
Goes well with
- rain
- unwanted advances
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 7 out of 10 yum
Paul Jaboulet Aîné Côtes du Rhône Parallèle 45
2009, France
Looks like
- blood from a broken heart
- a French cliché
Smells like
- pre-teen spirit
- better than it tastes
Tastes like
- Jay-Z and Kanye in Paris
- metallic
- blood
- very sweet
Goes well with
- no pants (like everything)
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 3.4 out of 10 yuck
Landscape Pinot Noir
2012, New Zealand
Looks like
- pinky
- quite light
Smells like
- wine
Tastes like
- a bit spongy, dry
- bit of a kick
- slight rubber-bandy aftertaste
Yuck, yeah-nah or yum?
- 5 out of 10 yeah-nah
Other posts you might like:
Cheese Tasting 2013
Cheese Tasting 2011
Wine Tasting 2011
Bunny Eats Design 
Great scoring system… but, I have to ask:
Dutch rudder?
I’m not going to seek further clarification on the kiddie-porn moustache 🙂
Hi John, here’s a handy video. It’s safe to watch.
Lester explains the dutch rudder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGUuugNEUcU
🙂 This made me laugh! Goes with blowjobs. Priceless.
Thanks Delialah, I don’t know who wrote that. But I have sneaky suspicion that it was one of the boys.
Best wine review I ever read!!
Best wine review ever – laughed so hard!
So did we. Maybe I should get the crew together and start a wine blog or column in a local newspaper.
Awesome. That’s effing brilliant. Wish I was there!
Hi Gray, I’m sure you could come up with a similarly brilliant event.
You could the event wineisthebestshitever.
🙂
Goes well with a Dutch rudder!! Classic. I want to come next year.
I dunno, you might embarrass me 😉
Too funny!
Thoroughly enjoyed this review!! Opened my eyes to a new way of viewing food heheh, it was very amusing and enlightening to read.
Ha. I’m not sure if we were trying to be enlightening but glad you enjoyed it heartshrooms.
Such fun! I like this very much. It does make me want to immediately plan a similar event 🙂